Boys careening down liquor aisle

Police Blotter

Athens, GA: Early Monday evening two small boys were last seen careening down the liquor aisle at Kroger. Reports are that they hijacked an abandoned fire truck found idling outside the grocery store. The absent driver has yet to be identified. Witnesses say the back of the truck was loaded down with cartons of organic whole milk; most likely partially consumed before and during the low-speed chase. The public is asked to report the location of these two roustabouts. At this point, it is highly likely they are tucked into their beds sleeping off the Vitamin D.